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Humor: 10 Dumbest Things Linux Users Say


David Letterman must be proud that his top ten comedy has made it into our culture. Interestingly, some people take themselves so seriously that they don’t know comedy when it hits them plainly in the nose – sorta like a pie in the face – Bill Gates style.

It stuck me odd that another website author wrote a top ten list regarding Linux. Slashdot linked to the story and cruel wannabe Linux users took their shots at the list. Sadly, the posters replied to the list with the same ten reasons that has consistently led me to hate arrogant Linux users. Fortunately, I only hate the dumb posters when they disagree with me while posters that agree with me are always smart.

Without any need for further introduction, here is my top ten list written and published for these geeks without brains and decency.

Top 10 List

#10 It works for me
Goody for you. I’m happy. Glad to know that it works for you. Now would you mind helping me PLEASE?

Yeah right. As if YOU read the manual(s). Have you ever tried to read that crap?

And if you are soooo smart then why not provide a solution to my question? You CAN’T can you! Instead, you wimp out and post that the user should do their homework. Wimp. Now that you are challenged with this, you’ll go read a manual or book and then post a reply. Who are you trying to impress?

#8 It’s easy just do this …
And then the user posts some really arcane series of procedures or language.

#7 Pay and I’ll say
Since you didn’t pay for this software then I won’t tell you an answer.

This is a great philosophy for anyone interested in promoting capitalism and doesn’t want others to help test the latest application. Better yet, pay me to beta test your crap and then I’ll help YOU fix your lousy application.

#6 Linux is stable

Is that why there is a Kill App? That must be when I go postal and want to obliterate my desktop. Right?

Yeah. Sure! It’s sooo stable that you just apt-get the latest patch and then … Or you download and install using the latest package.

#5 I’ve had X years of experience
I’m still laughing about number 6. However, if Evolution 1.0.8 was just released the other day then why does it matter that you have X years of experience? Unless you are one of the developers shut up and save my bandwidth.

#4 Linux is better than Windows XYZ
I don’t know because I don’t use Windows. And why do you know so much about Windows ? You don’t USE it do you? I thought you said Linux was better then why are you using Windows?

#3 Just use google …
Why do I need to use a search engine when you told me earlier to RTFM? Do you mean ALL of the answers are not in the manual? Now you’ve really confused me.

#2 Attacks on Linux means the attacker is a dumb, idiotic, dull, stupid lame user.
Well, maybe so but you are also stupid for wasting your time with a reply. Stupid is as stupid does. Or something like that …

#1 Linux is stable.
I’m still laughing. Get real. Have you really ever *used* Linux? Thought not.

Here is my suggestion:
Reboot, do a filesystem check, reindex, and reorganize your thoughts … cuz it ain’t working for ya baby !

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