It’s not just Twitter that is blaming Robert Scoble today–in their case for Robert and his 25,000 followers loading up the Twitter service with messages and bringing it to its knees. No, if you look around, you’ll see that Scoble is to blame for a whole slew of things. 10 in fact. Here they are in no particular order:
1) Vista. Yep. Single-handedly Robert is to blame for all of Vista’s woes. You know all those years that Robert glowingly blogged about Longhorn telling us how great this or that was and how amazing the technology would be during his tenure of Channel9 interviews and how he encouraged all of us to think and talk openly about Vista? Well, if he hadn’t have said a single word or blogged a peep, Vista would have turned out just fine. I’m sure of it. Sounds like new Windows head Steven Sinofsky thinks the same thing.
2) The U.S. economy. You think the President, U.S. Congress, and power brokers on Wall Street are the real ones behind the downturn in the economy this year? If so, you’d be wrong. It’s Robert’s fault. Yes. Yes. Yes. He blogged about it, causing a butterfly like breeze that resulted in all of this year’s economic turbulence.
3) The truth in the White House. You may think that Scott McClellan in his new book is simply pointing fingers at White House politicos for the misteps over the last few years. Nope. As some have pointed out he’s also blaming the press for not asking tougher questions and pressing harder for the real truth. And guess, who’s “one of the Press.” You got it: Robert Scoble. So clearly it’s his fault, first and foremost.
4) My upset stomach. Yours too, I bet. Remember, what was the last thing you did before you sat down for that great meal that turned on you and your stomach? I bet it was looking at Twitter. And what messages were about the only ones that made it through its overworked scroll list? Yep. Scoble’s. You know, that message about something innocuous that really turned your stomach–that gave you that gnawing, twisted feeling that lasted a full day? Well, maybe it wasn’t exactly Scoble’s tweet that twittered your stomach, but his message was close to the one that did the damage. Need I say more? Scobleizer is to blame.
5) Traffic this morning. I got on the 101 here in Phoenix and I couldn’t believe the traffic. Everything was at a standstill. I couldn’t figure out why. So I scanned around and noticed something mighty odd. Almost everyone was on their cell phones messaging away. It didn’t take much deduction to realize that they all must be reading or responding to Scoble’s twitter comments. They have to be. There’s no other explanation. Scoble caused the bumper to bumper madness.
6) Multi-touch in Windows 7. Robert Scoble uses a Dell Latitude XT Tablet PC and that’s the only shipping laptop that can support multi-touch. If Robert didn’t own this machine, I bet Microsoft wouldn’t be adding multi-touch to Seven.
7) All those conferences you never have time for. I’m convinced that if Robert didn’t have so much energy and drive, we all could relax and stay home more often rather than continually having to rush, rush, rush at work so we can attend this or that conference that Robert is most assuredly attending. Make sense? Yeah, to me too. Robert’s to blame.
8 ) Cell phone drop outs. You really think that all those dropped cell phone calls are because of poor cell coverage in your area? No way. It’s Robert’s fault. Ever notice how often Robert uses his Nokia N95 cell phone to broadcast live to Qik? I do. And it’s precisely–give or take a couple hours here or there–when I’m trying to use my cell phone and my phone drops a call. I’m never going to blame AT&T again. It’s Robert’s fault.
9) All the trouble you’re going to have trying to get a 3G iPhone. Rumors are spreading that there might be some supply issues with the new iPhone. It’s a ruse. It’s just a bunch of planted rumors, by you know who, to try to convince you to wait to buy the forthcoming 3G iPhone. Why? Because Robert really wants to be first in line to get one. It’s a trick, I tell ya and Robert’s the cause of it.
10) This post. Truth be told, I’m supposed to be working right now, but I couldn’t. Nope. Not until I got this post out about Scoble. He’s to blame. I have nothing to do with it. At least that’s my story I’m sticking to when I explain to my team why I didn’t get anything done today.